March 10, 1954

Friday night Willie and I went to Nuremberg.  I stayed with Barbara.  When we got there the Boswell’s, friends of Willie’s, had a bottle of champagne.  Then Saturday we went shopping in the PX.  Saturday afternoon Willie and I wandered around downtown and I bought some pewter down in old Nuremberg.  We also wandered through Woolworth’s – just like home – records and everything, except that it was all in German.  We ate dinner at the hotel and then went to the dance there.

St. Lawrence Church, Nuremberg

Sunday we had dinner at Der Munsterstinger’s and then sat in the bar at the hotel and chatted.  We almost had to stay in Regensberg because of train connections.

         Last night we went down to Sara and Ken’s and Doc fixed us chop suey.  Certainly was good!

Went downtown today and made like real Germans – ate wurst and sauerkraut at a gasthaus.

March 20, 1954

One night last week, Bob Walker, Willie and I took Pat Allen down to make roll call – Mariandal and Prince Alfonse – really had a ball.

The infamous Mariandal in Straubing

         [Ok, so the infamous Mariandal, which I am assuming was some kind of place to hang out and party, reminds me of the B&L Warehouse in Athens.  Nothing special looking on the outside, but the B&L was party central when I was a freshman in college.]

Last Friday Col. Wilson had a promotion party here.  It was really some party – costs $100.  Then we went on down to the Mariandal.  There we ran into Max and Gus, our bartenders, so we went down and opened up Max’s gast haus.

Barbara came down Saturday afternoon.  We just messed around here and that night Willie and Paul took us to the “Hard Times” party.  That was some party.  Afterwards we had to take Barbara down to make roll call.

Party time at the Officers Club Bar

We messed around Sunday.  I got a cable telling me that I have a new nephew (must be Jimmy Wade).

Wednesday night there was the Shamrock Cocktail party – St. Patrick’s Day.  Afterwards we made the rounds downtown.

“Parties make the world go ‘round….!”  [And there it is.  I wonder if my party loving mother could have ever imagined that she would raise a bunch of party loving children!]

March 22, 1954

Saturday night Willie, Bob Walker and I went down to the Mariandal for supper.  Then we came back here.  The orchestra was here and very few people.

Yesterday afternoon Flo and Bob Wofford and I went to Wahalla – near Regensburg.  It is the Hall of Fame for Bavaria.  It is very pretty with busts of famous people – Bach, etc.  Right now I can’t think of any more except a big statue of Ludwig, who built it.

Walhalla in Regensberg

Last night Willie asked me to go to the movies!  Miracles will never cease!  [It's kind of fun to know that she got all giddy and stuff when Daddy asked her out.]

April 4, 1954

Last Saturday was the spring formal.  Beforehand was a battalion dinner.  I went with Willie and had a grand time.  Afterwards we went down for roll call – from Lt. to Col. And dress blues to tails.

Sunday a gang of us went bowling and that night Willie and I went to the movie.  Then Monday night we went to see the play “The Moon is Blue”.  It wasn’t so hot. 

         Afterwards I typed a court martial for Willie.  [I am assuming that this was a court martial that Daddy was going to give and not his own court martial!  Of course, I'd like to think she wouldn't have been so calm if it had been the latter - LOL.]

Tuesday Battalion left for Grafenwohr for two weeks of firing.  Monday Regiment goes out for a week on CPX.  This place is really going to be dead.  [Poor Mother.  No boyfriend.  ;-( ]

One night I gave Pat Allen a Toni.  Bob cut off what we couldn’t curl – shades of home!

Last night Maj. Pettigrew had a promotion party!  Need I say more!

The Officers Club - in the calm before the party started

April 6, 1954

Saturday afternoon took Peggy Allen to the kiddie show – Tarzan.  (Pat was sick.)

        That night about eight of us went to the dance.  A new pilot, Jim Bray, came in.  He is a friend of Phil and Joe Haller’s.  We went down to their house later.

Then Sunday afternoon a bunch of us played bridge.  Then we went to the zoo downtown.

April 12, 1954

Thursday night Pat Allen and I went down to Flo Wofford’s for pork chops, turnip greens and black eyed peas and cornbread.  Sho’ was good.

Flo Wofford and Pat Allen

Pat, Don, and Peggy Allen

Friday afternoon AB Quinn and I played my first game of golf.  Saturday afternoon we went shopping.

Mother's caddy

Saturday night Pat and I spent the night with Pat Leighton.  We sat around and chatted and played records.  Then Sunday we finally got dressed about 3:30.  We came out here and Pat Allen won the free drinks.  We had a party! [Oh my, what a shocker!]

Battalion comes in today!

Valentine's Day

It’s almost Valentine’s Day.  I have very mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day.  I haven’t celebrated it often.  And when I did, I often felt like I had to nudge and make it happen.  I’ve gotten Valentine’s Day flowers from someone I dated once, which felt odd.  It was kind of too much.  And I've had to force someone to do something for me and that didn't feel too good either.  I don’t really care that much about the flowers and candy and romantic dinner expectations that many women have for Valentine’s.  I think for me, it really revolved around the fact that there was someone that I could call a “Valentine”, that I had a relationship.  Mostly because I had so few.  And again this year, there will be no relationship on Valentine’s Day.  Now, don’t feel sad for me.  I accept my status as it is.  But because Valentine’s Day is seen as a celebration of love and relationships, it always makes me think about how that has played out in my life and then how it played out in my mother’s.

I heard a bit on the radio recently about love at first sight.  I didn’t hear the whole thing or what prompted it, but it made me think about my experiences in the world of relationships and what my mother’s may have been.

I don’t know if it was “love at first sight” for Mother regarding Daddy.  It appears that she still had other dates in the beginning, but it quickly seemed to become a more exclusive relationship, even though she neglected to give us the real scoop.  At one point she mentions wishing Daddy was around so that Louie would leave her alone!  And she traveled with him toward the end of her time there.  There was even a reference, after they returned from a trip, as to speculation that they might have gotten married.

She evidently did not share details about Daddy with her family.  And she didn’t share much with us about their courtship.

As I reflect back, I did not talk to my mother about boys or dating.  Whenever anything remotely similar came up, she always gave me very black and white absolutes, like “you don’t have sex until you’re married” and “you don’t go over to a boy’s house”, even as an adult.  And of course, she didn’t want me moving out or getting furniture before I got married.  Not really what I was looking for, so I very quickly decided she wasn't the right venue for those kinds of conversations.

Boys were always very confusing to me.  And, even at a young age, I was not the girl most boys wanted to be with.  The boys I liked, even as an adult, were always cute and popular. I mean, for crying out loud, I wanted to be cute and popular too, so why not go for the cute, popular boys?  Unfortunately, since I was not cute and popular, they kept on going.

I have no idea if Mother dated much.  My aunts said she mostly went out in large mixed groups.  She always looked, in her younger years, a little scruffy, like she didn’t wear makeup or care much about clothes and hairstyles, which also carried over into her mother years.  Those things were always very important to me, however, so the fact that she wanted me to not worry about them or resisted (or outlawed) my attempts to be more modern or up-to-date made me both stubborn and less inclined to ask for her opinion on matters of the heart.

I’ve always been kind of socially awkward, especially around boys and men.  I didn’t read signals well and my internal antenna about men seemed to be broken off.  I had my first date when I was 16 and it went so poorly that I didn’t have another one until college.  In high school, I had heard that a boy wanted to invite me to the prom one year – may or may not have been true – but I discouraged it because he didn’t meet my standards.

Standards.  Ah, having standards.  I did have an idea in my head of the perfect guy.  I wanted him to be good-looking, be athletic, be intelligent.  I was kind of shallow with respect to my standards.  But I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t want – and I didn’t want to date a guy that wasn’t cute or didn’t have a good body or who wasn’t popular.  I had a friend in college who told me that I set my standards too high.  A euphemism, I’m pretty sure, for “there’s no way in hell that you can get a guy like that, so you might as well lower your standards for the leftovers”.  But that wasn’t what I wanted.  Sometimes I did settle for the leftovers, because I wanted a date or because it was a blind date, but that was all it was.  In most cases, I would never have given a guy like that a chance.  Because I think I really wanted to prove to this friend, and to others, that I could get that cute, popular guy with the athletic build.

I wish I had known how my mother felt about boys and men.  Did she have the same insecurities?  Did she want someone she couldn’t have, or was told she couldn’t have?  Since I don’t really know anyone else she dated besides Daddy, that’s all I have to compare to.

Interestingly Daddy wouldn’t have fit my ideal either.  He was skinny and had a big nose and he looks kind of goofy in some of the pictures we have of him from back then.  He was not well-educated when Mother met him.  He had spent some time in the Navy after high school, then went to college and flunked out or nearly flunked out, and joined the Army.  Daddy was a good storyteller, so I’m guessing he was back then too.  And he liked to laugh and joke around.  So he was probably a fun date.  And he was a nice, considerate man.  He treated people respectfully and people really liked him. So he probably was like that back then too.  And Mother would have liked that.  A nice man who treated her respectfully and was fun to be with.  And maybe she was more self-aware than I was in my 20’s or maybe she just was open to possibilities.  But she found a diamond in the rough.

Mother did tell me that she told Daddy he would have to go back to school after they were married.  And he did.  And after he graduated he went to work for Southern Bell, where he remained until he died.  He was a good provider and a good husband and father.  He was someone that people always liked, because he was nice and kind and considerate and liked to talk and listen.  And he always loved my mother, no matter what.  I remember having a conversation with him – I’ve forgotten the context or why we were talking about this – but what I was left with was the fact that he loved who my mother was inside, not only the outside.  And, in fact, the outside didn’t matter.  He just accepted her for who she was.  I didn’t appreciate it then, but now I realize what a gift that was.  To be loved and accepted no matter what. 

I wonder, if I had talked to my mother more about her relationship experiences, would I have made different choices.  As a young adult, I always went for the “bad boy”.  And, I have to admit, I did date men that fit my “standards”, and they usually ended up not being worth it.  I married someone that seemed, in some respects, to be kind of like my dad.  Someone who had not gone the traditional college route right out of high school and had taken some twists and turns in life.  But it turned out he really wasn’t like my father at all.  Most importantly, he didn’t accept me for who I was.  He wanted the outside package.  And when the outside package didn’t match his expectations, he mistreated me. 

Since that marriage ended, I haven’t stepped out much into the relationship arena.  The one time I did left me feeling like I really hadn’t learned anything at all.  When it was all over, I just felt empty.  I realize now that I have never met my “soul mate”, I’ve never found the person that I could be with comfortably for the rest of my life.  In many ways that makes me sad.  I wonder if it would make my mother sad.  Because I do think she wanted me to have what she did – a husband who truly loved me and a family.

My parents didn’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day.  My father died on February 5, so on Valentine’s Day I took my mother some flowers.  And when she saw them, she cried a little.  They never needed a day to say “I love you” or “You mean everything to me”, because they lived it every day.  And, I have to say, I’m a little envious, not only on Valentine’s Day, but every day.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Willie and Marion Moore.