The Christmas Tour - the beginning

December 26, 1953

Thursday the 24^th we left Istanbul early in the morning for Jerusalem.  It was a rough trip, and we almost didn’t get through.  We almost had to spend the night in Nicosia on the Isle of Cyprus where we stopped for an hour to refuel.  That was the first place we have been since leaving the states where all of the signs are in English.  Guess what they did when we landed!  Before we could get off a little man came on board and sprayed us with DDT!

(This makes me think back in my childhood days when they used to spray the neighborhoods - for mosquitos, I think.  They would come around in an Army jeep and spray this thick stinky stuff, during the summer, that would get in your house if you left the windows open.  I am thinking that we never got advance notice of this, because I can remember being home when they sprayed and running into the house.  I also remember standing in a closet with the door closed, but I'm guessing that the spray still got in because I could smell it.  I can only imagine what health conditions we have now because of this....)

Airport in Nicosia

 

We landed in Jerusalem late in the afternoon.  We had to stay in different hotels because at the last minute Admiral Hughes came down and took over our hotel.  They took us to a hotel that was about a mile from Bethlehem and right on the Israeli border.  All of us had dinner here.  There was a combo which played American music here too and they played the last song I ever expected to hear in the Holy Land – Dixie.  Pete, our tour conductor, didn’t like the hotel so we moved to another one in Beit Jala  – “The City of Beggars”.  We had no heat or water and we nearly froze.  Besides we couldn’t even brush our teeth much less wash.  But then it was just another experience.  Yesterday they moved us down to another hotel in Jerusalem – the Assaure.  It was very nice and we had a little stove in our room.  There was also a tub on our hall, but by the time I got to take a bath, the water was cold.  Have you ever tried to take a bath standing up? ‘Tain’t easy!

Hotel in Jerusalem

Thursday night while we were waiting to go to church, we had some dried watermelon seeds which the people eat like peanuts.

On the way to Bethlehem we traveled on the road that Mary and Joseph took part of the time.  We went to the midnight mass at the Church of the Nativity.  It lasted for four hours so we didn’t stay for all of it.  While here we saw the place where Christ was supposed to have been born and the manger that he was put in.  These were down in the church.

I was simply amazed by the fact that practically everyone here spoke English.  The main thing that they talk about is the war between the Arabs and the Jews.  On most of our trips we rode right beside the border.  There were soldiers and policemen all over the place.  In fact we had a policeman with us most of the time.  You are not supposed to take pictures of the people or military installations.  It seems that the Jews have taken them and used them for propaganda.

Christmas Day was spent sightseeing.  We really saw a tremendous amount in two days, but then there is a lot to see.  The Holy Land was just like I had always imagined it, but I was surprised at the lack of vegetation – there are rocks everywhere.  There are also cement blocks staggered in the roads as barriers to slow down the enemy.

(I'm amazed that she was in the Holy Land at Christmas.  What an amazing trip and time to be there!)

The things we saw Christmas Day:  Garden of Gethsemane.  Here is the Church of Agony or the All Nations Church.  This is built over the spot somewhere where Judas betrayed Christ.  Across from this is the wall of Jerusalem.  In it is the Golden Gate where Christ entered the town on Palm Sunday.  At one end of the wall is the village where Jesus made the blind man see.  Virgin’s Tomb or the Church of the Assumption.  We lit candles and saw the Tomb and the well of the Holy Virgin.

The Garden of Gethsemane

Then we went to the Dead Sea.  On the way we passed Mt. Sinai and the Good Samaritan Inn.  We drove through the mountains of Jericho.  The Dead Sea is the lowest place in the world.  It is 47 miles long and 11 miles wide.  It is 1300 ft. below sea level and is 1300 ft. deep.  It is very salty.  Here we ate oranges with some Arabs – wonderful!  Across the Dead Sea we could see Mt. Arab where Moses sold the Promised Land.  Near here is the place where Lot was captured.  It was nice and warm and sunny here.

The Dead Sea

River Jordan – somewhere along here is where John the Baptist baptized Jesus.

 The River Jordan

Jericho – we came back by here.  Here we saw people getting water from the pool of Elisha and carrying it off on their heads just like all of the pictures but we couldn’t take pictures of them.  Across the road was old Jericho where the “walls came tumbling down”.  We saw one little spot where they had been excavating and uncovered a part of the wall.  We could also see the Mountain of Temptation where Christ was tempted.   We also supposedly saw the tree where Jesus saw Zacarias and told him to come down.

Mother at the walls of Jericho

Bethany – just outside Jerusalem.  Lazarus’s tomb is here.  This is also were Mary Magdalene washed Christ’s feet.  There are some medieval arches left and one is believed to have been the home of Lazarus.

 Lazarus' Tomb at Bethany

In the afternoon we visited the old city of Jerusalem.  We went in through the Damascus Gate.  Here we went to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher.  The Moslems are in charge here and we saw the man calling the people to pray.  All people pray here though.  This is the place that the Catholics believed to be Cavalry where Christ was crucified and buried.  Here we saw the Stone of Unction where the body was laid and also the tomb.

Damascus Gate in Jerusalem

Church of the Holy Sepulcher

There is another spot outside the walls and St. Stephens Gate where the Protestants believe He was buried – the Garden Tomb – next to hill – Golgotha – which was bought with the 20 pieces of silver.  Cross stood here.  We saw this this morning.

Then we went back to the hotel for Christmas dinner.  I don’t like the way their things taste particularly, but I enjoyed it.  Afterwards they gave all of us a present.  Mine was a pair of earrings – the Crusaders Cross in an olive wood box.  Hilde gave me a medallion that just matches them.

This morning we started out early again.

Mt. Olive – Place of the Ascension.  Christ used to come up here because it was peaceful and quiet.

 

St. Stephens Gate – went into the old city and the Moslem area.  We went to the Mosque of Omah.  Here we had to put on slippers again.  This was very ornate but beautiful.  There is the top of a mountain inside – Mt. Uriah, I think.  This is where Abraham was about to sacrifice his son to the Lord and also the place of ascension of the Prophet Mohamed.  Not far from here is the place where Jesus was found talking to the learned men at the age of 12.  The Mosque of Omah and the Church of the Holy Sepulcher are both in danger of falling because the Jews made direct hits on them in 1948.  This has not been published.

The pool to wash your feet before entering the Mosque of Omah

Wailing Wall – where the people did their chanting and praying for forgiveness of their past sins.

The Wailing Wall

Then we went up the Via de La Rosa – the way of the cross and through the Damascus Gate.  Everywhere people are trying to sell you something.  We also saw some beggars.

Leaving Jerusalem - flying over the mountains

Now we are on our way to Luxor.  We have flown over the Red Sea and saw Mt. Sinai where Moses received the 10 Commandments.

We landed in Luxor late this afternoon.  We came into town in a car just like “modern conveniences”.  On the way we saw such things as palm trees, natives in their native dress, men riding camels and burros, women carrying water jugs on their heads, men sitting in the road, mud houses, etc.  It’s entirely different from anything we have seen yet.  The weather is nice and warm too – just like spring.  We sho’ do like it.

         We are staying at the Winter Palace (still there) which is right on the Nile.  When we came in the sunset on the Nile was gorgeous.  The meal here was the best yet.  All of the waiters wear white dresses with red, green, or maroon belts.  All of the staff are in native dress and it is very colorful.

 The Nile from the hotel in Luxor

Robert Taylor is staying here too.  They are making “Valley of the Kings” (The Egyptian) (Robert Taylor and Eleanor Parker were in this movie.).

Filming the "Valley of the Kings"

After dinner we walked down the street and looked in the shops.

Postcards from the edge....

Mother sent home a number of postcards to various family members, mostly her parents and sister.  Here are some that cover her travels to this point.

This one is a photo of Straubing from the Danube.  She sent this one to her cousin Harvey May and it reads:  You just ought to see me now!  I'm sitting in a compartment on a train going to Cologne. Then we are going down the Rhine on a boat to Frankfort.  This place is really great, and the people have been grand to us.  School starts Tuesday and I suppose we will probably get into our routine.  Then maybe I'll have more time to write.  How do you like this address I have? (she included her full mailing address)  Why don't you use it and write to me sometime.  Tell Auntie I'm going to write her a letter soon.

This one went to her parents and sister Amelia Ann:  Went to Regensburg yesterday to look over the town.  This is a picture of the oldest church in Germany - St. Peter's Cathedral.  It dates back to 1100.  Notice that the twin spires are open work which is unusual.  This church is beautiful on the outside but kind of disappointing on the inside.  The stained glass, which is really stained, over the main altar was done in 1400.  They haven't gotten all of it back in yet.

Another postcard to her parents and Amelia Ann:  This is where we ate lunch today, and the barrel really is there.  The place is full of atmosphere and the food was good too.  This is the Ratskeller.  It is in the bottom of the Rathaus, which is the courthouse.  Y'all would have loved it.  Wish you could have been there.  You better write me soon because I am not going to write again until I hear from you!

Another postcard to home:  We're on this now.  We started out a 1900 hours last night, and we get there about 1430.  We have been on 3 trains and 2 buses already.  Now we are in the North Sea.  This country up here is very flat and it is foggy and damp.  The Island of Nordeney, where we are going, is a big resort in the summer.  Hilde says that the ones we are going to stay with don't speak English.  Ought to be fun!

Another one to home:  We came to Nurenberg yesterday and we have been on the go constantly.  Went to the game (we won), hit the night spots last night and went sightseeing all day today.  Dink and John are coming by now for a few minutes.

Here I am steaming down the Rhine.  It's just beautiful.  I do wish you were here because you would enjoy it as much as I.  I will write a letter with all of the details as soon as I get back.

Postcard from Istanbul:  Well, we're here!  This is the bridge over the Golden Horn, which separates the old part and the new.  It has been rainy and misty all day, but we've been taking pictures like mad anyway.  Tonight we are going to a nightclub for a little while.  On to Jerusalem morgen.

December 21, 1953

You should have seen us trying to buy coffee with marks all through Italy – no lire, but some soldiers on the train took pity on us.  They had lire.

We got to Rome about 7:30 and went to the Hotel Constantinople.  Then we ate breakfast and went up to wash our faces.  Then I discovered that I had left my toothbrush, so I went to the drug store to buy one.  I don’t know what kind of mouths they have, but that’s the biggest toothbrush I ever saw.  It looks more like a hair brush.

         No pictures in Rome because it rained.  Saw the Appian Way and one of the Viaducts on the way to the airport.  We are flying with BKS, a British airlines.  We left Rome finally about 1200.  Had a very nice trip and landed in Athens about 5:30 – lost an hour.  We are staying at the Acropolis and we have a private bath with a tub.  The trip over was very nice.

Tonight we had a pretty good dinner here.  The 4 of us were going out, but it started raining so we just stayed here.  There are 2 more girls on this tour who are very nice – Ann and Betty.  Most of the others are older but a nice group.

 

December 22, 1953

This morning we went on a sightseeing tour.  Stopped at the Royal Palace to take pictures of the Guards.  This is where the Duke of Edinburgh lived as a child.

Then we went by the Stadium where the 1^st Olympic Games were held.  It was built in 1896 and is a replica of the one built in 300 A.D.

         Next went to the Temple of Jupiter; foundations laid in 514 B.C. but was finished in 150 A.D.  The gate in front divided the city into the Roman and Greek parts.

Next we went to the Acropolis which means “high city” where the Gods ruled – Athens had its “day of hay” in 450 B.C. under Pericles – Golden Age.  There is the Temple of Athena – goddess of Athens and the Parthenon – “temple of Virgins”.  Paul’s rock is out front where he preached in 51 A.D.  Down below is the Theater of Dionysos, the oldest theater – about Nero’s time.

This afternoon we went by the University – Med. College, Philosophy College and the Theology College.

         We went to the PX of all things.  Also got some “greenback” and do they look good!

The exchange here is 30,000 drachma to the $1.  All the money is paper.  You think nothing of tipping somebody 1,000 drachma – about 3 cents.

         Tonight we went to see “The Robe” (with Richard Burton, Jean Simmons, and Victor Mature).  Greek subtitles.  These are the places where it took place.  When we bought our tickets they gave us about 4 apiece.  Paper must be awfully plentiful around here.

         We really caused an uproar because the usher wanted us to move upstairs.  We didn’t understand because she was speaking Greek.  (She's always causing trouble!)

December 23, 1953

We left a little after 8 this morning for Istanbul and arrived here about 11:30.  We are staying at the Ipek Palace (still there).  It is new and very nice except that we don’t have private baths.  It has been rainy and misty all day.

         A view of Istanbul from the hotel:

After lunch we went on a sightseeing tour.  Istanbul looks just like I thought Turkey would.  It is the only city that is in Europe and Asia.  We went across the Golden Horn which divides the city into two parts – the old – 600 BC and the new – 14^th century.  Then we went down to the waterfront.  Saw a mosque, the New Palace, a clock tower, and at the foot of the tower the 1^st cannons ever made.  Then went by the city square which has a war monument of 1919 in it.  On one side is the Congress of Turkey.

Then we saw one of the aqueducts that is 1200 years old.  Later we went into one of the cisterns underground which catches the overflow of the aqueduct.  It is 1700 years old and was built by the Romans.  This was the water supply when the city was under siege.

        We went into the Suleymaniye Mosque.  He was the greatest emperor and had the mosque built in 1555.  It is on the 7^th and highest hill and can be seen from anywhere in the city.  The acoustics are perfect.  When we went in we had to put on tremendous slippers.  I lost one of mine and some little man got real excited about it.  The lights were strung very low all over the building.  It was tremendous.  There was a service going on.  They worship 5 times a day.

Then we went into St. Sophia Museum which used to be a mosque.  There are no steps at the entrance because the emperors rode their carriages into worship.  It was built in the 6^th century.

Then we went to the Hippodrome where they used to have races.  Now there are 5 monuments there – one is the Obelisk or Cleopatra’s Needle.  This is across from the Blue Mosque – next to Mecca.  It is called this because of the many blue tiles.  We also went in and had to put on slippers.  We saw some worshippers bowing down here.

         Cleopatra's Needle:

           The Blue Mosque:

(Note:  the Blue Mosque is not actually blue on the outside; but the slide being old makes it appear as though it is.)

           There are marble columns here that are the largest in the world – 19 in. diameter.

           Then we went to the Bazaars.  They cover about 4 miles and are all inside.  It reminded me of the markets in Mexico City – everyone trying to sell you something and very junky.  We bargained and I finally got a little ash tray for a pack of cigarettes.

Tonight we went to a Turkish night club and drank Raki (a non-sweet, anise-flavored spirit consumed as an aperitif) – what the Turks drink.  You’ve never heard such carryings on as most of the people did about the place.

Tomorrow we go to Jerusalem, and I have certainly enjoyed Turkey.

You've got a friend

Someone recently made the remark to me that I took things personally even when they had nothing to do with me.  The implication was that this was a regular or normal occurrence.  You might assume that this came from someone who knew me well and had seen regular evidence of this and was trying to help me tackle a problem that could get me in trouble.  But you would have been wrong.  I got this gem from someone via a Facebook message.  And this is someone I have never met, have had mostly periphery involvement with, and who has never really engaged me in any meaningful dialog.  And I don’t think she said it to help me solve a problem.  I suppose I should be grateful that she didn’t choose to call me out on this problem of mine in the post on her wall.  But it begs the question of how do we develop friendships in this day and age of Facebook and Twitter and electronic chat boards?  And do these people really know us, to the extent that they can tell us what our faults are?

Friendships have changed over the years.  In the old days we met our friends in school or on playgrounds or at Scouts or choir practice or swim team practice.  We played at each other’s houses or met at the pool or played sports together and developed those connections over shared experiences.  As we got older, we rode in cars together or ate lunch together at school or had spend-the-night parties with a bunch of friends or talked on the phone for hours.  As young adults, we went bar hopping or hung out at coffee shops or went shopping.  But now there’s a whole different way of meeting people.  Through online chat boards and Facebook and LinkedIn.  It used to be that your best friend was someone that you had done all of the things I mentioned with; today your best friend might be someone on the other side of the computer screen that you have never met or that lives far enough away that you only rarely see her.  And these people you’ve never met or have only met a time or two think they know you well enough based upon things you write online to tell you what you need to correct to be a better person.  They are willing to tell employers that this person would make a great employee even though they’ve never worked together or had any type of professional interaction at all!

It’s amazing that less than 10 years ago, the most popular show on TV was about 6 friends.  Three women and three men, who were best friends.  Some of them were roommates, some developed romantic relationships.  But their friendship existed in the real world, not on a computer or via text message.  When they gently chastised each other, it was because they really knew each other.  They didn’t base it on a flat screen kind of relationship with no context or ability to see the subtleties of tone and facial expression.  Those shows still exist, but how often do people have those kinds of relationships anymore.

 

All of this made me think about friendships, particularly among women, and how they’ve evolved over time.  I considered how different things were in my mother’s day and how strange all of this would seem to her.

 

I didn’t very often wonder about my mother’s friends.  But she always had at least one really good friend everywhere we lived.  There was our next door neighbor Eleanor Anderson in Charlotte.  We all liked Eleanor.  She was a “cool mom”, which sometimes made me wonder why she was friends with my mother, a woman who could never be described as “cool”.  Then there was Dolores Rucci, the across the street neighbor in New Jersey.  Now my mother despised New Jersey with her whole being, but she made friends with Mrs. Rucci so she at least had someone to talk to.  And finally there was Dolly Snyder, our next door neighbor in Atlanta, who later also hired my mother to work with her at the high school cafeteria.  Mrs. Snyder was probably my mother’s greatest friend.

 

There were also the women who were some of my mother’s oldest friends – Miriam Jackson and Pat May.  I don’t really know how my mother knew Miriam but it seemed she knew her forever.  And Pat was her college roommate and later married one of my mother’s cousins.  Pat was the one that always surprised me.  I always thought of Pat as very sophisticated.  She was dark complexioned and had black or very dark brown hair that was always pulled back into a smooth bun.  She smoked and wore pedal pushers.  She had one of those whiskey soaked Lauren Bacall voices.  She had a great rich laugh and I remember her laughing often.  She was exotic.  I thought Pat May was all that and a bag of chips.  She could not have been more opposite of my mother.  And when I was a little girl I wanted to be Pat May when I grew up.

 
And then there were my mother’s sisters and her cousin, who also would be considered her friends.  Amelia Ann and Sara were my mother’s younger sisters, but whenever the three of them got together, except for the fact that they had a physical resemblance to each other, you would have mistaken them for just the tightest of friends.  And their cousin Helen was the perfect fourth to their “gang of four”.  They had their own way of relating to each other that just reinforced how much they loved and liked each other. 
 

My mother would often talk about her friends back in the days when she was young.  She seemed to have a large group of friends, both male and female.  I never thought about it much, since of course I couldn’t imagine my mother as a real person with friends and boyfriends and ups and downs and any kind of a life.  When I read her diary I was often struck by the wide circle of friends she seemed to have.  I don’t know if they were all connected to the Army, but many, if not all, of them must have been.  She had friends to travel with, friends to party with, friends to have dinner with and friends to just hang out with.

 

As my mother’s child, I could never figure out why people liked my mother so much.  She could talk to anyone – and did, much to my dismay – and she was always nice to people, polite and smiling.  Which she tried to teach me to do, but since I was not inclined to follow my mother’s lead on much, I suppose I worked hard to be the opposite.  I thought people would not like my mother because she was fat or because she was plain and wore no makeup or because she was often opinionated.  But as I look back, that doesn’t seem to have had any impact on my mother’s ability to have friends and be a friend.

I think about this now because I was never one to have a lot of friends.  And people never seemed to gravitate to me.  I wanted to have lots of friends and I tried hard to have lots of friends – too hard.  I was always exaggerating things, hoping that if I appeared cool and worldly I would have lots of friends.  That never ended well, of course.  So I ended up with just a few very close friends.  I don’t trust people implicitly and, while I try to make friends, they usually are just like moths to a flame and quickly I seem to repel them or burn them up with too much neediness.  Too bad I didn’t want to learn from my mother….

 
In the past 10 years or so, there seems to be a tsunami of online forums and bulletin boards, for every interest in the world.  Mom boards, biking boards, sports boards, boards about singing groups like the Allman Brothers or the Eagles.  I found out when I had my hysterectomy that there was a hysterectomy board.  And then boards for professions.  I discovered the SHRM boards – originally an awkward form of communication to ask questions about all things human resources.  Most of the time you could get answers, but I noticed that personalities started to form and there were some that were very helpful and some that were not.  Some that were kind and some that were overbearing or overly critical of some poor soul who deigned to ask an elementary question or a question that had been asked more than once before.  But it was through this crude, early bulletin board that I got involved in the oftentimes whack world of online friendships.
 

The first board I got involved with was an offshoot of the SHRM board.  People developed their personas and, it seemed, often used the mostly anonymous nature of a board to create the kind of person they wanted to be.  Some were the ones that were always trying to talk about fluff topics and just have fun.  Some were more serious and wanted to talk HR.  And then there were the political types who wanted to debate and, more often, try to impose their perspectives on others.  It was an interesting group of people.  People became “friends” online, which led to gatherings both locally and nationally.  Some people actually became friends IRL, which was a cool phenomenon.  One of my best friends came from my association with that board and I recommended her for a job with my company so we were coworkers for a while as well.  It was fun to travel to other cities and be able to get together for dinner with these “friends” who sometimes became real friends.

But the board became more political and there was fall out for not agreeing with the ones in charge.  There was name calling and meanness and eventually people left and then the board imploded altogether.  I found other boards with their own personalities and quirks.  There are cliques and popular people on boards just as in life, although sometimes they are not the same.  The interesting thing is that they typically form between people who have never actually met each other.  But there will always be strong personalities and people who are just naturals at leading the way.  It’s interesting to watch the evolution of these online communities.  These are the places to tell people that you’ve never met about your baby drama, your child drama, your ex-spouse or boyfriend drama and then to virtually talk about the most intimate details of your life.  I know that if I knew my mother talked with her friends like these people talk with each other, I’d be mortified beyond belief.  It’s a new world.

 

It makes me wonder when we quit making friends the old fashioned way.  At school and work and in the neighborhood and through other real life friends.  When did we start thinking these people on the other side of a computer screen were our bosom buddies and the people we wanted to share our darkest secrets with?  You can share a lot online and, sometimes, share too much, in my opinion, with people you have never really had a flesh and blood relationship with.  And even when you do meet someone “in real life”, you still don’t have that day-in, day-out kind of friendship because you only see them once in a while or maybe even just once.  I know you can make friends with people that you “meet” online, because I have, but you still need that face-to-face to make them truly come alive.  Otherwise, you’re just “friends” with someone’s persona.

 

I look back at my mother and her wide circle of friends and they were all the living, breathing people she could call on the phone and meet at the pool or in the neighborhood or over the backyard fence.  My best friend is kind of a throwback to those days.  She has a wide circle of friends that started from a small group she met at work.  That has expanded over the years to include their friends and even a couple that one other couple met at a bar!  But they’re like a family and they get together at holidays for parties and to talk.  They get together for each other’s birthdays.  And they create special bonds with a few that they meet for lunch and go to movies with or just call to chat.

 
Somehow I missed most of that.  I spent too much time trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be.  I had no confidence that people would like me for me.  Instead of just being myself, I tried to be someone else and failed.  I look at the life my mother had, full and rich and lined with friends she could have fun with.  And instead of thinking she was dowdy and fat and not worth the trouble, she was nice and sweet and talked to people and listened and she was always smiling.  And she had a boatload of friends and wonderful memories.