Sunday, January 27, 2013

My Grandmother

Mocha was my mother’s mother. She is really the only grandparent that I remember. Granddaddy, Mother’s father, and Grandma, Daddy’s mother, died was I was very young and I only remember them really from pictures. Grandpa, Daddy’s father, died before my parents ever met, so I obviously never knew him. We were lucky to have Mocha for a grandmother. She was an amazing woman and always fun to be around. Mocha was born Marion Carney Malone on June 8, 1898. It’s sort of weird to think about, now that we’re in the 21st century, someone actually being born in the 19th century, even if it was just barely that. She gave birth to my mother when she was almost 28, which was probably a little old in those days. This is the earliest picture that I have of her, when my mother was a baby.

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I think for a long time that Mocha and Granddaddy and their daughters lived a pretty cushy life. I’ve heard that they had a cook and a maid and they lived in a pretty nice neighborhood in Charlotte. I’m guessing that when the Depression came around that they had to tighten their bootstraps some too, just like everyone else, and that’s when Mocha learned to cook. Mocha really was a pretty good cook. Her specialty was baked goods though. I’ve mentioned before how she made cakes for the grandchildren’s birthdays and would make anything that we asked. Her angel food cake was always a hit as was her pound cake, and those got requested often. She also made chess pies, which were basically a super-sweet custard-like concoction in individual tart shells. Somewhat like a baked crème brulee, although not as creamy. Put a little whipped cream on that baby and you were bouncing off walls for days!

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She also was a great casserole maker. She made a wonderful chicken and wild rice casserole that was a favorite in our family. It was always my brother Paul’s birthday dinner and, since my mother served this often when we had guests, it’s been passed on to others. Here it is for your eating pleasure:

1 box Uncle Ben’s wild and long grain rice

2 – 2 ½ lb. fryers, cooked and boned

10 ¾ oz. can condensed cream of celery soup

1 onion (minced)

2oz. jar pimientos

2 cups mayonnaise

8 oz. can water chestnuts, sliced thin

2 cans French style green beans (drained)

Paprika and parmesan cheese

Cook rice as directed on box. Add all ingredients except paprika and parmesan cheese and mix well. Pour into shallow 3 quart baking dish. Sprinkle with paprika and cheese. Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes.

Easy and delicious!

She also made something called Crittenden Casserole, which she got at a luncheon at the Florence Crittenden Home. This was a place where girls went, back in the olden days, when they were pregnant and unmarried. Mocha was President of the ladies group that supported the Crittenden Home, which kind of surprised me when I found out what the place was about. For whatever reason, it didn’t seem like something she would have supported, but I was always glad that she had had a heart for that. The casserole, by the way, was never one of my favorites.

Mocha was always a fun grandmother, although she could also be strict. She was never the grandmother that let the rules go out the window. If my parents left us with her, she always followed their rules, sometimes with a little twist. But she also, sometimes inadvertently, helped us out. I remember the Christmas she came to visit us with pierced ears. I had been begging my mother for years to let me get my ears pierced, to no avail. But when Mocha showed up with her cute little earrings, there was nothing Mother could say but “yes”. So I was forever grateful to Mocha for helping me out. Mocha loved going to the beach. The Hunters had always gone to Wrightsville Beach in North Carolina and that was a tradition that lived on for decades. I don’t ever remember seeing Mocha out on the beach, but here’s a picture that proves that at one time she did.

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Mocha was always dressed to a T. I never saw her in anything but a dress. Quite the proper lady.

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I knew Mocha wouldn’t live forever, but she lived a very long time. She was 96 years old when she died. As she got older, she got more confused about things. Not big things, just little things, but they were often funny. I went to visit her at her retirement apartment one evening when I was in town on business. She had asked me how my mother was doing and then she asked me about “Joe”. I was stumped. So I asked “who?” and she frowned at me and said “Joe, that boy that lives with your mother”. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. She meant George, my brother, who was living with my mother at the time. (My mother pronounced George “Joe widge” and that’s where I think Mocha got the “Joe” from.) It’s one of the favorite family stories.

So here’s to Mocha – a great woman and a terrific grandmother! I miss her a lot.

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Saturday, January 12, 2013

My Love Affair with Purses

I think most people who know me know I love purses. Even people who think they know me know I love purses. But I haven’t always had this love affair with purses. As I’ve mentioned before, my mother was certainly no fashion maven and she definitely did not encourage this trait in me. From her perspective, you didn’t need to wear the latest trends or look like everyone else. She had probably 5 dresses in her wardrobe, all made from the same pattern, in different colors or prints. She had a couple pairs of shoes and she had a coat. And she had one serviceable purse. Anything more than this was just unnecessary, as far as she was concerned.

When I was in college, I remember buying some clothes, usually things that were – surprise, surprise – more trendy and modern. I had a roommate my freshman year who was very fashion savvy and I aspired to look more like her, although I failed miserably. I remember buying my “interview suit” for on campus interviews my senior year. And that suit was the first professional item in my wardrobe. I added to my closet over the intervening years, but I don’t recall having more than maybe two purses, one for fall/winter and one for spring/summer. And if I spent $30 on a purse, that was a BIG deal.

The first time I really remember thinking about purses was not long after college when my best friend Debbie bought her first “expensive” purse. She spent $60 on an Aigner purse, which seemed like an incredible indulgence to me at the time. She doesn’t remember saying this, but I recall her telling me that now that she was in the working world she was going to buy whatever she wanted and not worry about the price. I thought that was so amazing, but I had been raised to be cheap and I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. I spent many years searching for that perfect color that could take me throughout the year in the perfect style that was classic and timeless. And that cost $30 or less.

Debbie was probably the person that put the purse bug in my head, although it lay dormant for awhile. I was with her when she bought a Gucci purse and I bowed down to her ability to spend the money without having heart palpitations. I genuflected to her awesomeness when she spent $80 – EIGHTY DOLLARS – on a shoulder strap (just the STRAP!) for her Louis Vuitton purse. I never thought in my lifetime that I would spend $80 on a purse, much less a strap.

But then one day a Dooney & Bourke caught my eye. It was a shoulder bag in a nice season stretching color. I salivated over it. But it was $225! A fortune! But I thought back to that Carrie Bradshaw-like confidence Debbie had when she’d bought her first “expensive” purse after college and I started saving my money. When I finally had the $225, I went to visit her in Houston for the weekend and we went to our favorite shopping haunt, The Galleria, and I bought that beautiful purse. It was apropos that she was with me when I bought that first special purse.

I probably should mention that by this time I was already a Talbots-aholic and was spending crazy amounts of money on clothes. Spending that kind of money on a purse though somehow seemed silly. But I loved that purse and I carried it for many years. And even after I had that breakthrough, I still looked for purses that would be suitable year-round. Or at least for half a season.

The first Coach purse I ever bought was actually a swing bag. I bought it before I went to the SHRM conference in New Orleans back in the early 2000’s. It was perfect for carrying the essentials and leaving my hands free for my tote bag and other necessities. The first full size Coach purse I ever bought was a Willis bag, a Coach classic. An HR friend of mine named Kerry was a huge Coach fanatic and she recommended the Willis. I carried that bag for a long time, even though it wasn’t as practical as later purses. The Willis didn’t have things like the cell phone pocket or another interior pocket and it wasn’t as large, so it didn’t hold as much “stuff”.

Then I discovered the Coach outlet in Grove City, Pennsylvania. For a couple of years after that I started adding to my Coach collection, all from the outlet. I had Hampton bags, which were my favorite style, and tote bags, which were great for travel. I even bought a laptop bag. I would look at the full price catalogs and then buy the outlet version.

I don’t remember the next time I bought a Coach bag from the full price store, but once I started I couldn’t stop. And suddenly I had more than just a purse for fall/winter and a purse for spring/summer. I started buying purses just because I liked them. And eventually I quit buying from the outlet. I had so many purses that I had to start switching them out each month. But I loved my purse collection. I loved the pretty colors and the comments I would get.

Eventually I traded out my swing bags for better small purses that are my go to for travel.

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I bought an oversize tote that has traveled to Europe and many places in the US.

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Debbie and I bought the same purse once. On purpose. We both loved it and loved the color and we both still have it.

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I bought a Burberry purse at the Burberry outlet. I had been on a Burberry kick and bought it along with a scarf and an umbrella.

Then the day came when I went in the Louis Vuitton store with Debbie during one of my visits to Houston. I was breathless over the prices. Sure, they were beautiful purses, but at those prices I just couldn’t imagine myself ever buying one. And then I saw this:

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The sales clerk took it down for me and placed it on the counter. I gasped as I touched it and picked it up and admired it. I nearly passed out when I looked at the price. I remember thinking “I wonder what would happen if I just picked it up and ran out of the store?” I was in love with that purse. Debbie egged me on. But I couldn’t do it. I left the store without it. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I agonized over it. I went home and still couldn’t stop thinking about it and talking about it. I finally looked it up online and not only did they not have it in the beautiful red color, but the price had gone up. So I took it as a sign that I wasn’t supposed to have that purse.

But one day I looked again and there it was. The red purse. At the price I’d seen at the store. And before I could change my mind, I ordered it. I thought I would regret it, but once it arrived and I had it out of the box, I knew I would never second guess my decision to buy it. And I will have it forever.

I have bought other purses. I have re-homed purses to friends as I’ve bought new ones. I have bought Kate Spade purses and a real Burberry and even another Louis Vuitton. But that red purse is the centerpiece of my purse obsession and it is the epitome of my love affair with purses. I don’t buy Coach purses much anymore. The styles don’t speak to me as much as they used to. But I still love beautiful purses and I still love it when someone comments on the one I’m carrying.

Thank you, Debbie, for introducing me to the world of purses. And for reminding me that it’s ok to be good to myself with something that I love.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Wanderlust

I have a bit of wanderlust in me. Actually more than a bit. And it’s more than just a travel wanderlust, although that’s what caused me to contemplate it this weekend. I read an article on cnn.com about the 10 “hot” spots to visit in Europe this year. I’ve only been to 2 of them, although to be fair, my “visit” to Amsterdam was totally within the walls of the Schipol Airport as I changed planes, and sat on my outgoing flight for four hours, going from Basel, Switzerland to Atlanta. Number one on the list was one of my favorite destinations, Corsica. I never hear Corsica mentioned with respect to places you should visit in Europe. I don’t think Rick Steves has ever done a show in Corsica. Which is too bad.

Corsica is a fabulous place. For a small island, it seems incredibly large. It has lovely beaches and tall, carsickness-inducing mountains. It has cities that hang off cliffs.

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I visited Corsica on a two week trip to Europe with my brother Paul, my sister-in-law Beth and my two nephews Allen and Boyce. We stayed in a lovely villa overlooking the Bay of Palombaggio. We spent most of our time there hanging out on the veranda or lounging in our own personal infinity pool.

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It was spectacular. I read that they are holding part of this year’s Tour de France in Corsica. Which makes me wonder how they will get to the mainland of France – are they going to bike over the Mediterranean? Probably not, but I’m sure it will be spectacular.  LOL

There are some other locations on the list that I would love to visit. Berlin, Crete, Istanbul, Innsbruck (although I did go to Garmisch, which isn’t far away), and a real trip to Amsterdam. Liverpool is on the list, which surprised me. I know my brother George, a devoted Beatle-phile, would go in a heartbeat for International Beatle Week, but other than that, I found it hard to believe this would be one of the hot spots for 2013.

I’ve been fortunate to visit a lot of places, both here and abroad. I thought I might start blogging about some of them in upcoming posts. There are lots of places I’d like to go, some as mundane as Wrightsville Beach, NC and Charleston, SC and a long weekend in Southern California. But, as much as I wish I was, I am not a good solo traveler. I’d much rather go with someone than go alone. And so I don’t end up going to these places I’d love to see. Perhaps I can muster up some courage and just do it.

The wanderlust hits me in other areas as well. I am currently early in my 8th year with my current company. That’s 2 years longer than I’ve ever worked anywhere. My inner job changer has screamed loudly at me over the last 3 or 4 years and yet the time has never been right. But my desire for a change of scenery, new experiences and challenges, new opportunities still is there, still creating that itch I need to scratch, that vague unsettledness. While on the one hand, feeling comfortable with the familiar can be good, I never like getting too comfortable. I feel like there’s new mountains to climb, new experiences to have, new crazy employee issues to solve.

And relationships. If you were to ask me, I would probably tell you that I’d love to have that long-term companion, be it husband or not, someone to feel comfortable with and have experiences with. Maybe that person to go on all those trips with. But after a couple years in a relationship, I always have that desire for something else. Relationships start hot, but cool off fast for me. It doesn’t take long for me to get bored with the sameness, to stew over the faults, to want something new and different.

So maybe 2013 will be the year for me to satisfy some of the pent-up wanderlust I’m feeling. Stay tuned!