Willie Moore

December 1, 1953

We got in Sunday night about 01:15.  We had to wait about an hour in Regensburg.  The RTO was closed and the German waiting room had no place to sit down, so we went across the street to a restaurant.  There was a grand orchestra there.

Yesterday afternoon we got a ride to Munchen with Ickie 6.  We got the validation for Egypt, etc. on our passports.  Then we went to the Tour Agency and turned everything in.

Last night about 11 o’clock Willie Moore (so this is actually the first mention of Daddy.  I wish we knew how they really met.) and I decided to fix us some hamburgers since the sandwich woman was gone.  We couldn’t find any so we scrambled eggs, etc.  It was pretty good.  That’s the 1^st time I have done that since leaving home.

This afternoon we took all of the children in to see Hansel and Gretel.  A German girl’s school – Catholic – put it on in English and invited us.  It was precious.  It was a scream when they tried to use our slang expressions.  They had very elaborate costumes and settings.  We thoroughly enjoyed it!

It's interesting that Mother never discussed in her diary how she met Daddy or anything about him really.  As you'll discover, she is very matter of fact about her relationship with him and doesn't really romanticize it at all.  They did travel together later, but not alone.  And there are some pictures of the two of them together, but you'd be hardpressed to know that this was a special guy to her.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised.  Mother was always pretty matter of fact about their relationship.  She clearly loved him and the feeling was mutual.  She thought he was the greatest person ever and she certainly put him up on a pedestal for us.  I can remember making a comment once that Daddy always had an answer for everything and that he always acted like he knew everything and she said "well, he does!"  And I think she believed that.

So today, on Father's Day, I'll take a little break from writing about my mother to talk about Daddy.  He's been gone for 22 years.  Hard to believe it's been that long.  He was an amazing father.  Back when the stereotype for most fathers was that they went to work all day, came home and just vegged out in front of the TV, that wasn't the reality of my father.  He did work all day and when he came home he would often sit in the den and read, but he also paid attention to my brothers and me.  He talked to us and listened to us and made time for us.

I remember that on Saturdays Daddy would make us all sandwiches.  He would get out all the sandwich fixin's and would make us whatever we liked.  He often, on the weekends, would make chili for dinner or waffles or biscuits for breakfast.  He was an engaged dad, spending time with us doing things we liked.

I have frequently said that Daddy was the perfect father for a daughter.  He treated me as though I were the greatest thing ever.  He was firm but fair with me, but he also let me know that he thought I was terrific, even when I really wasn't.  My mother told me once that before I was born, Daddy said he hoped I was a girl.  He thought the first child should be a girl, so I'm sure he was thrilled when he got his wish.

He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on or needed a hug.  I remember when I was in Girl Scouts one year, I desperately wanted to be the Secretary.  I'm not sure anymore why that was so important, but it was.  The way the "officers" were chosen was that you picked a piece of paper out of a Girl Scout beanie and if you got something with writing on it, that's what you were. I do know that I wanted to keep the minutes (I guess I've always loved writing!), but when I pulled out the paper, it said "Treasurer".  I was heartbroken.  Daddy tried to tell me how important a Treasurer was, but I was having none of it.  So I went to bed that night and woke up crying about it.  He got me up and took me into the den and told me a story about a bad dream he'd had as a boy, where he woke up saying "but I don't want to be a reindeer!"  It sort of made me chuckle, although I didn't want it to because I wanted to stay sad.  But that was typical Daddy - trying to help you feel better.

I remember going to see him once at his job.  I was working then too - this was after college - and he was working at the BellSouth building in midtown Atlanta.  I went to visit at lunchtime and he first showed me his office, which was actually a cubicle, with an unfortunate view of the Georgia Tech football stadium.  I told him he should ask to be moved, but he said he was afraid if he did that he wouldn't have a window anymore and the window made the cubicle tolerable.  But when he took me around to introduce me to his coworkers, it was apparent to me how much they admired Daddy and that made me feel good.  At his funeral, I remember turning around and seeing that the church was full.  Full of all the people he had worked with that had liked and respected him.  I was so touched and I knew he would have been too.

Daddy was the one that suggested I get into HR.  He had majored in Personnel in college and spent a couple years doing that at BellSouth, although most of his career he was a Training Manager and course developer.  But he thought that would be an ideal career for me and, for many years, I agreed with him.  He was also my career counselor, helping me prepare for interviews and reviewing my resume and giving career advice.  I got laid off from my job at a commercial printer the Friday before he died and I never got to talk to him about that and get his good advice.

There were certainly times when I didn't think Daddy was so fabulous.  I think my junior high school days were the time when I was the most rebellious and fought against him the most.  By the time high school rolled around, that had ended.  Daddy always believed in me and believed I could do anything.  He was always encouraging and supportive.  After he was gone, I felt like my anchor was gone, that my life was kind of adrift.

The day my father died, I wasn't expecting it.  In hindsight, maybe I should have.  He had been diagnosed with lung cancer, which I later learned had a small long-term survival rate.  But I didn't know that then and so I wasn't ready.  Not that you ever are, but I truly wasn't ready for him to be gone from my life.  My brother Paul called the house that morning with the worst news I've ever had in my entire life.  I was distraught.  I remember going upstairs to take a shower so that we could drive over to my mother's and my then-husband asking me if I was ok.  I thought "I'll never be ok again" and I really didn't think I would.

Time goes on and yes, eventually you learn to live with the inevitable.  But I still cry sometimes when I think about Daddy.  And I still miss him.  Every.single.day.  I always will.  I remember the day he died, when my aunts got to the house, one of them said "oh, at least he got to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day!"  And he did.  The thing about that was, when I got engaged I had initially thought I'd get married the middle of October.  But when it came time to set the date, I actually set it for late September, prompting questions from those who thought it would be later.  I couldn't tell you then why I felt so strongly that I had to pick that date, but had I picked the middle of October, he would have been in the hospital.  So it was a gift that he was there with me.

My brothers and I talk about Daddy a lot.  When Mother was alive, we all did.  And we always talk about the fun times and laugh a lot about the Daddy stories.  We were very fortunate to have had such a great dad.  I think we are all who we are today in large part because Willie Moore was our father.  He was simply the best.

I love you, Daddy.  I miss you.  I'll never forget you.

Freezing their asses off in Nordeney

November 27, 1953

We left Straubing at 1900 hours Wednesday night.  Changed at 0500 in Hanover.  Changed again at Bremen.  Then at Ernden West got a bus to Norddeich (in Northern Germany on the North Sea coast) but we had to change halfway there.  There we got the steamer to Nordeney (one of seven populated East Frisian islands off the North Sea coast of Germany) where we got a horse drawn omnibus to the house.  This is an island in the North Sea off the coast of Germany and Holland.  It took us 20 hours to get here.  This is a big summer resort, but it sho’ is cold now.  The land up here is very flat.  Very, very few Americans come here but this is where Hilde’s father is from.  We are staying with an aunt and uncle who speak no English.  One cousin and her uncle’s helper speak some English, but when they are not around it’s nip & tuck in sign language.  There is a stove in one room and we stay in here.  Upstairs is freezing and we use a pitcher and wash bowl to wash in freezing water.  Slept under feather beds and everything else we could find.  I don’t believe I have ever been so cold.

I can certainly empathize with that feeling of being so cold.  I remember a couple of times when I thought I truly couldn't be colder.  The first time was my freshman year of college at the Georgia-Georgia Tech game.  It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I had gone back up to Athens for the game.  I went with several friends and for once we actually had seats on the 50 yard line!  Student tickets were always a gamble and there didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to where you ended up.  So this was exciting.  But wouldn't you know it, it was not only very cold but it was also raining.  Steady, cold rain.

I clearly was either drunk or stoned or maybe both, because I wore some ridiculous sandals (with socks, though) to the game.  When it rained in Athens, it always seemed like everything flooded.  I always got wet clear up to my thighs, no matter how I dressed.  My shoes would always be soaked.  So here I am at a football game in freezing cold rain wearing completely inappropriate shoes.  I can remember that no one wanted to sit in the stands, so it was incredibly crowded under the stadium ceilings.  We finally gave up and headed back to the dorm.  My feet were frozen and at that point, I just slogged through the water.  When I got back to my dorm, peeled off the shoes that were now ruined, and put my feet up against the heater, I couldn't feel my feet or the heat. 

To make matters worse, Georgia lost the game.

The other super cold experience I had was when I lived in Cincinnati.  The high temperature was -4 and the wind chill was -64.  The Bengals had a playoff game that day and I remember seeing people with no shirts on at the stadium.  I was glad I was inside and my heat worked!  I had to drive to Columbus that afternoon to pick up a coworker at the airport for a meeting we had the next day.

The airport was freezing and when Valerie came off the plane, I nearly died.  She was wearing a light coat and open toed shoes!!  I remember saying to her, "Valerie, did you even bother to look at the weather up here before you left?"  I think she had no clue how really cold it was.

It was bitterly cold still and the wind was awful.  We had a room along the outside of the hotel and even with the heater turned up to the max the room was icy cold.  We stupidly never went to the front desk to ask for a different room.  So we spent a nearly sleepless night huddled under whatever covers we could find, shivering.  The next morning we spent a lot of time in the bathroom with the heat lamp on.  I know that I didn't feel warm until we got in the car.

          Yesterday we stayed here so the relatives could come and look at us.  This morning we walked around the island.  Everything is closed because it is winter.  Every time we go to somebody’s house or somebody comes here, we have to drink something – what, I don’t know.  And they are always bringing out something to eat.

I’ll bet we have said less this week than we ever have before.  (Considering how chatty Mother was, this had to be terribly hard for her.)

We have spent our time shaking hands.  Every time someone comes into a room you shake hands and say “guten tag”, and every time someone leaves the room you shake hands and say “auf wiedersein”.  Since a lot of people have been coming and going, that’s what we have been doing.

You ought to see us trying to talk to these people!  It’s really a scream.

November 28, 1953

Last night one of the uncles took us to a dance.  I think it was a benefit for a children’s school.  We were the only Americans there.  We have certainly gone native since we have been here.  We have nearly frozen to death – no running water or heat.  (Ok, this is where I would have had to take the first train back home.  I am not good with no conveniences.)

           This morning we walked around the town again.  Went to school and to an English class – very interesting.  There is a windmill in front of the school.  We also saw this indoor swimming pool that has waves in it.

November 29, 1953

Yesterday afternoon we went down to the harbor.  It was most interesting.  Then we went over to one of the uncle’s for tea and dinner.  You know they really bring out the food.  I have never seen so much and it is all good.

This morning we got the omnibus down to the steamer at 7:30.  Right now we are in Bremen.  Because we had to change here coming up, we thought we did this time too.  We got off one end of the car and right back on the other end.  It was a scream. 

Darn it!  This train is cold and I wanted to get on a warm one.

You know I think we really amazed them what with my sauchen (I have no idea what this word is - whether it is real, she made it up, or it's another of her amusing misspellings), our making sandwiches, our wearing our boots all the time and being cold, and my wearing two pairs of gloves.  (I wonder if I’ll ever thaw out!)  The thing that really threw them was our drinking water.  They told us it would give us lice.

The whole week-end we spent shaking hands and the chief topic of conversation was Hilde’s snozzle.  That was an experience I shall never forget and thoroughly enjoyed, but I don’t want to go anywhere that doesn’t have central heating until it gets hot.  (I am with you there!)

           Oh yes!  There are quite a few windmills around there.  The land is so low and flat with a lot of cattle and sheep.  It looks like what I imagine Holland looks like.

Here is the house they stayed in at Nordeney:

And Mother and Hilde feeding chickens while they were there: